when hollywood calls

You know where they do movie prop scouting? On Craigslist. You know how I know this? Because Hollywood called my husband last week, wanting to rent a tractor for a commercial.

It was a typical night at our house – I was cleaning up the table with little squirt at my side while Matt got the girls ready for bed. His phone rang and I saw the caller ID said ‘California’ so I ignored it thinking it was a spammer.

After finally getting everyone in bed for at least the third time, he listened to his voicemail.

“Blah, blah, I saw your ad on Craigslist (typical), and I’m a freelance film producer from L.A. looking to rent something like what we saw in your ad for $500 per day for a minimum of 3 days, plus any incidentals,” (atypical, very).


But to make this story even more hilarious, I have to start at the beginning.

It started last fall, when I overheard my sweet hubby on the phone “What kind of motor/flywheel/(insert word unknown to me) does it need?” “Can we pull it out with a chain?” “How much to truck it here?”

At this point, I was really not even remotely interested in anything he was saying. I honestly thought he was talking about his company Ranger/soil sampler that he got stuck in somebody’s field. While I was off doing something more interesting than listening to him talk about things stuck in the mud, he got off the phone cussing.

“I can’t believe I just said that out loud. I’ve been texting this guy and didn’t think before talking on the phone and now you know that I’m getting you a tractor for Christmas.”

Um, what?!

As it turns out, he was planning to get me a Farmall A for Christmas because (there is a reason …) when we got married, we rode in to our reception on my brother’s Farmall B (and as I type this, I realize how redneck it sounds, but we were rustic barn wedding cool before rustic barn weddings were cool).


As it turns out, B’s are more expensive than A’s (who knew?). After trying to find a reasonably-priced B to have around our farm for romantic memories sake and for the kids to learn to drive on, he found not one, but three tractors on Craigslist that needed a motor/flywheel/part thing and were stuck in the mud somewhere. Ever financially diligent as he is, he figured it was a three-for-one deal and he could sell the other two to give me not just a Christmas tractor, but a free Christmas tractor. I love that man.

Not that I didn’t appreciate the gesture, (I really did. And I ended up with another more everyday practical Christmas present since he spilled the beans on the tractor.) but we still have two tractors in our barn. And because I like money more than I like tractors, I suggested, and then suggested more strongly that he sell one of the tractors. Ultimately, he decided to sell the A and keep the H (clever namethinkers men who make tractors are). And that is how we ended up in contract negotiations with someone over a tractor and a commercial set.

Sadly, they ended up going a different direction with the commercial. The producer thought our tractor was ‘cute’ but they thought their $500/day plus incidentals was better served renting a brand new $100,000 tractor, not one that had previously been stuck in the mud and sold as part of a ‘tractor enthusiasts dream lot of three.’

So now, Matt has decided to tear apart the tractor (to fix another … flywheel?) and (maybe) keep it. Because, hey, maybe someday our kids will want to race tractors as a hobby, and for that, you need at least two.

Ps – If you or anyone you know would like to purchase/rent/lease this fine piece of machinery, call me at my number during the day. I’ll make you a deal. And you don’t even have to be famous.

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