Monthly Archives: May 2017

Great (vacation) expectations

I just wanted a weekend away. We’d been working on our house nonstop to get it ready to list when the first signs of Spring hit. I had visions of heading south, sunshine and relaxation with my family. I’m allowed these kinds of expectations, right?

But, as it works out – no matter how far in advance we I plan, pack our color coordinated outfits, cross off lists, clean the house , we end up like this.

Or this …

Or this … minus the short-shorts (until he sees the sun, Matt’s legs more closely resemble Ellen’s).

I wish I could blame the kids. Their sudden need to pack every toy they own (for, in this case, a four hour car ride), inability to do anything with their trash other than hand it to me or drop it into the depths of the third row seat cracks, and kid-popular ‘are we there yets?’ haven’t made traveling easier, but it’s not entirely their fault.

You see, there was the time Matt brought the cooler full of 50 pounds of green beans he was supposed to deliver instead of our food; the time we got locked out of our bank account 1000 miles away, ran out of cash and proceeded to blow past every toll in New York figuring we would pay online later like you can in Chicago. It was a good plan until we got a fine, on top of the $20 per incident fines from the rental car company. There was the time all of Matt’s clean underwear got peed on by the stray cat that accidentally tagged along all the way to South Dakota. One time, we left the water running while in a hurry to leave. It was 2012, the year of the biggest drought Indiana has ever known. We once got lost on an access road literally one mile from the airport and I missed my flight.

I may have memorized Clark Griswold’s speech by now.

“This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. You’re gonna have fun, and I’m gonna have fun. We’re all gonna have so much fun we’re going to need plastic surgery to remove our smiles.” (the clean version)

The damage this time? I had the kids swim in their underwear and a T-shirt thinking I had left their swimwear behind until I found it the moment we returned to the room. Also, the very expensive mirror our son yanked off the wall. That was damaged too.

But hey, at least no one was fighting over who has to sit next to Aunt Edna.

A few weeks have passed, and I’m ready to hit the road again, full of great vacation expectations once again. But instead, I should probably go make some freezer meals and smell diapers or whatever else it is I should be doing for baby prep!

A few highlights of our trip to Lexington: