Monthly Archives: October 2016

when hollywood calls

You know where they do movie prop scouting? On Craigslist. You know how I know this? Because Hollywood called my husband last week, wanting to rent a tractor for a commercial.

It was a typical night at our house – I was cleaning up the table with little squirt at my side while Matt got the girls ready for bed. His phone rang and I saw the caller ID said ‘California’ so I ignored it thinking it was a spammer.

After finally getting everyone in bed for at least the third time, he listened to his voicemail.

“Blah, blah, I saw your ad on Craigslist (typical), and I’m a freelance film producer from L.A. looking to rent something like what we saw in your ad for $500 per day for a minimum of 3 days, plus any incidentals,” (atypical, very).

screenshot-2016-10-09-15-29-51

But to make this story even more hilarious, I have to start at the beginning.

It started last fall, when I overheard my sweet hubby on the phone “What kind of motor/flywheel/(insert word unknown to me) does it need?” “Can we pull it out with a chain?” “How much to truck it here?”

At this point, I was really not even remotely interested in anything he was saying. I honestly thought he was talking about his company Ranger/soil sampler that he got stuck in somebody’s field. While I was off doing something more interesting than listening to him talk about things stuck in the mud, he got off the phone cussing.

“I can’t believe I just said that out loud. I’ve been texting this guy and didn’t think before talking on the phone and now you know that I’m getting you a tractor for Christmas.”

Um, what?!

As it turns out, he was planning to get me a Farmall A for Christmas because (there is a reason …) when we got married, we rode in to our reception on my brother’s Farmall B (and as I type this, I realize how redneck it sounds, but we were rustic barn wedding cool before rustic barn weddings were cool).

wedding-tractor

As it turns out, B’s are more expensive than A’s (who knew?). After trying to find a reasonably-priced B to have around our farm for romantic memories sake and for the kids to learn to drive on, he found not one, but three tractors on Craigslist that needed a motor/flywheel/part thing and were stuck in the mud somewhere. Ever financially diligent as he is, he figured it was a three-for-one deal and he could sell the other two to give me not just a Christmas tractor, but a free Christmas tractor. I love that man.

Not that I didn’t appreciate the gesture, (I really did. And I ended up with another more everyday practical Christmas present since he spilled the beans on the tractor.) but we still have two tractors in our barn. And because I like money more than I like tractors, I suggested, and then suggested more strongly that he sell one of the tractors. Ultimately, he decided to sell the A and keep the H (clever namethinkers men who make tractors are). And that is how we ended up in contract negotiations with someone over a tractor and a commercial set.

Sadly, they ended up going a different direction with the commercial. The producer thought our tractor was ‘cute’ but they thought their $500/day plus incidentals was better served renting a brand new $100,000 tractor, not one that had previously been stuck in the mud and sold as part of a ‘tractor enthusiasts dream lot of three.’

So now, Matt has decided to tear apart the tractor (to fix another … flywheel?) and (maybe) keep it. Because, hey, maybe someday our kids will want to race tractors as a hobby, and for that, you need at least two.

Ps – If you or anyone you know would like to purchase/rent/lease this fine piece of machinery, call me at my number during the day. I’ll make you a deal. And you don’t even have to be famous.